Musings > Living with Passion
Passion: emotions, not reason • intense driving feeling • an outbreak of anger • ardent affection • a strong liking for or devotion to some activity, object or concept {Love}• an object of desire or deep interest {Sexual Desire}.
Passion makes life feel alive, but it can also lead to suffering or even an untimely death. Keeping it in our lives while not allowing it to permanently harm us or others is one of the tricks to fulfillment. Everyone has to grapple with finding a good balance. Without passion life may feel unconnected, boring, meaningless and dry; our lives and relationships may become empty shells. Yet, unchecked passion, if acted upon, can lead to disaster, as in an all-consuming fire storm.
In early life, our task is to develop a set of values and commitments that will keep passions in bound. By middle age, the task shifts around to learning to keep passion alive, to keep from letting life just become a slide to death as we become stagnant in those values and commitments.
To keep passion alive, we must allow for surprise, create a mess, make a mistake, cry, and look foolish. Behaviors might include flirting, starting scary discussions, body contact, and befriending strangers. Last week, I pushed a group member to examine her sex life. She said to me, “I think you are obsessed with sex.” Later that night, while protecting my patient’s identity, I raised this point as a concern with my wife. Over the next 24 hours, the resultant discussions careened all over the road from accusations to hurt feelings to dear memories and shared histories, to passionate embraces and more. Every time my wife and I take the plunge into scary waters, the marriage eventually gets stronger. Does my heart pound each time I take a passionate leap? Yes! Is the jump worth it? Yes! Yes! Carpe Diem!